As a pastor, I am often asked to pray out loud: at meetings, demonstrations or services.
Recently, I found myself praying out loud at a bedside of someone who was ill. That in and of itself, is not uncommon. But this time I was in the ICU praying with a beloved church member as medical personnel bustled in and out of the room.
It was distracting to hear people come and go as I stubbornly kept my eyes shut, feeling awkward at praying so loudly in order for the patient to hear me. Anyone walking down the hall could also hear my strange sounding sacred words like "divine" and "blessing" which seem out of place in the sterile universe of the hospital.
Why was I so self-conscious? I pray out loud all the time.
Instead of leading others in prayer, this time I did my spiritual thing while the real healers got about the business of curing diseases. When I pray in worship or at a gathering, everyone joins together. Here, I was alone with my parishioner in our own prayer bubble amidst a strange landscape.
Faced with my self-conscious feelings at this foreign environment, I prayed even louder not because I thought my voice could drown out the beeps and footsteps but because I knew God's care was the best she could get.