You may have run across this article floating around social media that chronicles a young woman's experience being told to smile by a creepy stranger.
She has missed her train and runs past a man who touches her and says, "You’d be even prettier if you smiled." The author's reflections are pretty disturbing.
Many women are told to smile, me included. Usually it's in a less creepy way than the author's experience. Sometimes, it's an upstanding-looking man waiting in line near me or passing me on the street.
Sometimes, it's as innocent sounding as, "Aw come on, it can't be that bad!" As if to imply that my regular expression-less face must mean I'm having a bad day.
Why can't I just have a day? Neither good or bad. Just a day.
It may appear that these men are just trying to make conversation or impress their buddies. But under the surface is the message that women are not allowed the full range of emotion. Instead, women are supposed to be pleased and look pleasant. All the time.
These comments are also racialized. As a white woman, I experience different assumptions than women of color. I should be "sweet" or "charming" and if I do assert myself, than I'm a "tough cookie" or at worst an angry feminist.
The situation for women of color is very different, and I won't attempt to speak on their behalf. You can see for yourself.
You may be thinking, "Sure, these extreme forms of harassment are awful. But, that's not really the same as one harmless comment about a smile."
It's not the same degree. But it is the same mentality in a different form. Listen to these women. And know I'm not alone.