As confessions go, this may seem pretty tame. Alright, it is.
Yet I am often surprised when people think that because I am a pastor I will act a certain way - and pop music isn't included.
On one occasion, while I was playing pool at a bar with other seminarians, the group at the next table simply could not believe that we were training to be ministers. It was as if they caught us doing something we were not supposed to do. Or maybe the feeling was more like children who are stunned to see their teacher in the grocery store. "You don't live at school?"
I may sing in my car about waking up feeling like P-Diddy (what does that even mean?) and then arrive at my destination to lead a prayer service or visit a nursing home. These are all aspects of who I am that I cannot compartmentalize into "pastor" self and "pop music" self.
Many people see church as different from other areas of life. The folks playing pool would not have had the same reaction if we were med students or in law school. But, church is different.
Certainly, they would not forbid religious leaders from playing pool or even from consuming fermented beverages. Yet there was something about our group that jumbled their assumptions about what is holy and what is not, who is religious and who is not.
When one in our group missed a shot and let out an expletive, our shocked neighbor announced, "Now, that's a church I would go to!"
I believe that says more about his perception of church than about our group. Church is the place where you never say those words, where you put on your best clothes and behavior, where you never make a mistake. Right?
When you go home from church you can be yourself and sing out loud to your favorite song - but not before.
Perhaps our "church" self should meet our "on our way home" self and become friends, our "pop music" self and our "pastor" self go out for coffee. Then we can both come to church together.